An open letter to my mortgage company

Dear Jerks,

As much as I love wasting hours of my life on hold with your collections and customer service departments, it's getting kinda old. Especially because the error in accounting is entirely yours.

I've made my payments, on time and without exception. In fact, the checks posted weeks ago, a fact I've explained to all four of your employees that have either reached me at home, at work, or on my cell phone. Once I explain everything to your employees, they usually say something helpful like "Oh wow, yeah this is a mistake," or "I don't know what's going on here," and then end by telling me "I'm going transfer you to customer service." Twice their transfers have led me to 35-45 minutes waiting periods, all of which I've ended because my lunch break was up. Twice the collections representative hung up on me when he/she tried to transfer departments.

The woman with whom I spoke this morning--my cherished Sunday morning--was frustrated herself. After a couple minutes of her bullshit customer service lines, she said, "Ok, I'm gonna be real with you, I can't even see my supervisor--I don't know where she is right now." Awesome. Then I got disconnected when she tried to transfer me to customer service.

Awesome.

So no, I won't be making a payment over the phone because I didn't do anything wrong. Your company messed up, your employees have backed up my claim, and next time a collections rep calls me at work, I'm going to refer them to the letter I've slipped in January's payment. It's written for the customer service department and it includes my phone number and the best time to reach me. Until then, leave me alone.

Sincerely,
Whitney

the fine art of harassment

a while ago i blogged a bit about my strategy of handling issues as being crazy and calling people an endless number of times and just being really intense about the whole process. now i'm pretty sure that's actually the way you're supposed to do it.

so far i've noticed that with every contractor or NACA person i really have to be insistant to get any kind of legitimate information or action. with many contractors i've found that several follow up calls were necessary to actually get an estimate done (i guess business is booming in buffalo). Thats a difficult call to make, "did you get a chance to look at the house?" "no" "really, I put you in touch with my real estate agent last week and you told her it would be done last tuesday." I don't say that, but I want to scream it. To me this practice seemed really shady. If they had told me that they weren't going to get to it until next week, i probably would have called someone else.

I've found the same situation with the paperwork people are quick to give us positive, "yep! you're done!" answers when we've really only completed a minor task in the great paper rodeo that is buying a house and securing a mortgage/rehab loan through the Neighborhood Assistance Coorparation of America. I understand contractors fudging their schedules because they are very busy and they don't want to lose the work, but I can't understand folks not saying that we've completed another of the many tasks we need to complete to buy a home. Are people that eager to please?

I've developed a strategy of calling everybody on my list a couple times a week to see where things stand. Sure, the helpful folks at the switchboard sound a little meaner every time I call, but I get my questions answered and things seem to move forward faster. Does anyone know a way to do this without being a jerk? other than being educated?

An Open Letter to New Era Heating & Cooling Inc.

You probably don't know who I am. My friend Steve has been contacting your staff for the most part, working hard to get you into the home we do not yet own so that you can estimate the cost of work we need done.

Steve tells me that you were something of a pain in the ass, New Era. You rarely returned calls, you were often disorganized, and occasionally you were not nice. But we decided to go with you because your estimate seemed fair and, truth be told, we hadn't heard anything bad about you. Excited that we had finally picked a contractor for this job, Steve and I virtually high-fived over the phone.

Yes, New Era Heating & Cooling Inc, we needed you. And because we were about to throw several thousand dollars your way, I thought you needed us too.

But, as you abruptly told us late last week, you "don't do HUD." My brain was moving a little slow that afternoon so it took me a minute to understand what that meant: you don't wait around for payment from people on programs. All that extra paper work is too much. Fair enough, I guess. I can understand how annoying that could be from your perspective.

One thing though, New Era. When we explained to your staff numerous times that we were using the NACA program, why didn't they tell us then that you "don't do HUD?" Why come out to our house? Why make us bug the shit out of you for two weeks straight? Why waste time?

I guess you just wanted to take us for a ride. And it's our fault for assuming that something lasting could come out of this brief encounter. Maybe next time we'll ask more questions.

Best of luck,
Whitney